


my friend wrote a porno

by lady-serendipity (JenZz)



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: BTS Reference, Fanfiction of Fanfiction, Fluff and Humor, Implied Sexual Content, Inspired by My Dad Wrote A Porno podcast, M/M, Meta, Second-Hand Embarrassment
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-22
Updated: 2019-11-22
Packaged: 2021-02-18 02:08:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,321
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21520150
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JenZz/pseuds/lady-serendipity
Summary: When Jongdae said he wrote fanfiction, the last thing he expected his non-fandom friends to do was to insist on a porn-writing contest. Fuck.
Relationships: Byun Baekhyun/Kim Jongdae | Chen, Do Kyungsoo | D.O/Amber Liu, Huang Zi Tao | Z.Tao/Oh Sehun, Park Chanyeol/Zhang Yi Xing | Lay
Comments: 6
Kudos: 38





	my friend wrote a porno

**Author's Note:**

  * For [flowerscarsandcandy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/flowerscarsandcandy/gifts).



> and here's [what I actually wrote for the 'contest'](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17395841). Hope you enjoy, this is very self indulgent.
> 
> even though it's mostly for me, it's also for my BEAUTIFUL wonderful muse because I made it into a baekchen. happy birthday, love!!!

It all starts when Jongdae offhandedly mentions that he writes fanfiction. They’re tucked away on the cushy chairs in the corner of their local winery, where they have a good vantage point. The room is not too small, not too large, just enough seating area so every patron can view the grapevines with the sun setting in the distance.

He’s been a bit nervous, these aren’t the type of friends he normally confided in. Sehun, Baekhyun, and Tao would take it in stride, surely, since they were avid fans of the podcast “My Dad Wrote a Porno.” So avid, in fact, that Baekhyun takes pride in saying he’d listened to the whole thing almost five times over. 

Jongdae licks his lips before deciding to bring it up. “I tried out that podcast you guys recommended,” he says, taking a sip of his chardonnay. The sun hits them just right as it sets, warming everything with its dying rays. “My Dad Wrote a Porno.”

“What’d you think?” Baekhyun asks excitedly, leaning in with his wine glass held precariously tipped forward. Sehun gently plucks it out of his hand, setting it on the coffee table dividing them.

“I actually really liked it!” Jongdae says and smiles. “It even got me back into writing, since, you know, anything I write would be better than that.”

Tao perks up. “You write?” he asks excitedly, and Jongdae shrinks. Hopefully he doesn’t ask…. “What do you write?”

Feeling all eyes on him, suddenly, Jongdae feels the sweat roll down the back of his neck. He’s not ashamed, exactly, just unsure of how they’ll react, that’s all. “...fanfic.”

“Oh! Oh my god,” Baekhyun exclaims, making Jongdae jump in his seat and look at Baekhyun with wariness. “This is perfect. For Chanyeol and Yixing’s housewarming party, we should totally do a porno writing contest!!!” Jongdae fights the urge to clap his hand over Baekhyun’s mouth. Luckily for them, the winery staff are otherwise occupied and the surrounding conversations serve as white noise.

“Ohmigod why?” Jongdae hisses, inadvertently letting out his inner preteen. “Who would even participate?” 

“Well, I’m judging. I can’t wait to read what you write, hyung!” Tao squeals, and then pouts at Sehun when he tsks.

“No one asked you, dummy,” Sehun says, but quickly adds, “I’ll be judging too.” He giggles. “I’m sure we could get Kyungsoo hyung to participate. We were in a creative writing class together in college.”

Sighing, Jongdae’s already thinking of the topic he’s gonna do. He has some inspiration, eyeing the way Baekhyun is practically sitting on top of Sehun’s lap, even as Tao and Sehun hold hands under the table. “Any themes in particular? Or rules?”

“Five pages minimum, double-spaced,” Baekhyun says. “Write about anything!” 

Jongdae frowns. “Anything anything?” he asks slowly, trying to gauge their expressions. How much did he want to expose himself in front of them? 

Baekhyun’s grin is evil. “Anything. You have the whole week! Anyway, moving on….” Jongdae decides not to press any further.

That night, he wears the same cross expression in front of his laptop. The prompt is frustratingly vague, and plus… Baekhyun would be there. Not that Baekhyun liked him that way, but still. Sighing, he grabs his phone and dials Minseok.

“Hello?”

“Hey, Min, I got a question for you.” He picks up a pen to twirl anxiously, propping a foot on the desk away from the computer. “And a favor to ask.”

“Did… you get arrested? Are you asking for bail?” 

Jongdae yelps in indignation, almost dropping the pen. “Hyungggg,” he whines, and hears Minseok chuckle.

“Joking, joking. What’s it this time? Fanfic, or Baekhyun? Stop pouting at me.”

Damn it, Jongdae is pouting, how did Minseok know? He retracts his lower lip. “It’s not like I only call about asking you to beta a fanfic or… hey, I don’t whine at you about Baek! Not much, anyway.”

“That’s a lie and you know it,” Minseok says, voice still laced with amusement. “I don’t mind, it’s funny to laugh about. Though I will drive to your house and throw a pen at you the next time you write about ‘boxy smiles.’ Those AREN’T a THING.”

“I will have you know that when Kim Taehyung smiles his entire mouth makes the shape of a rectangle! It’s fand—ugh, never mind.”

“You can show me as many pictures as you like, but I’ll still never let you forget the first time you tried to prove it and ‘accidentally’ showed me a picture of Baekhyun smiling,” Minseok replies dryly. 

Jongdae holds his head and moans into his sleeve. “Please shut up about that. You’re so evil.”

“Anyway, it'll be fine. Fanfics are self-indulgent anyways - you should just write what you want to write.”

Grumbling, Jongdae says, “But how much do I want to _expose_ myself? Like, what if my kinks come out?”

Minseok chuckles again. “How about this - why did you agree to do it? Think about that and then do business as usual.”

“Hmm.” Jongdae glances at his BTS poster, the seven boys smiling beautifully back at him. Taehyung is laughing and looking at Jungkook holding hands with Jimin. “Oh! I got it,” he murmurs into the phone, “I'll start writing now.”

“Ok, send it over when you're done and I'll read it over. Talk to you later!”

“Bye, thanks hyung,” Jongdae replies and hangs up. 

Sitting up in his chair, Jongdae pulls up one of his works in progress, something he had written when he'd tried to do a taekook before (for the uninitiated, that's the ship name for Taehyung and Jungkook). For one reason or another he'd dropped it, but it was intended to be sexy and would actually work well.

His overarching goal as a writer was to write ALL THE SHIPS. Ahem, to challenge himself to see why others might put them together. But Jongdae for some reason always gravitates towards Taehyung, who really does remind him so much of Baekhyun in so many ways. That same bubbly nature, the way they look out for their friends, their love of physical touch… it makes Jongdae want to write all the happy stories for Taehyung. 

He had started this WIP way back when Baekhyun had answered his door in his birthday suit. Jongdae had quickly walked in, shut the door behind him, all while averting his eyes. “Don’t you have a roommate?” he whined. 

Giggling, Baekhyun shouted, “Sorry, I forgot!” before bounding back to his room, hopefully to put on clothing. Jongdae had been both relieved and disappointed to see him emerge in a large T-shirt and boxers. Later that night, his mind had wandered to Baekhyun’s board shoulders, slender waist, and his fingers started tapping out the beginnings of this story.

_Jungkook had thought he would mind living with Taehyung…._

Back in the present, Jongdae sighs at the Google doc staring back at him. The backstory had gotten boring, that’s why he had dropped this. Shaking his head, he scrolls down to the bottom and forces himself to type. 

He sleeps late that night, and the next night. Work is shitty but Jongdae can only seem to write between the hours of midnight and 2 am. Something to do with the overlap of the least inhibition and the most wakefulness.

The backstory still nags at him, though, but Jongdae thinks, _Fuck it_ , and shares it with Minseok. “Heeelp it's awful :(((“ is the message he sends along with it before slamming his laptop closed. 

Jongdae doesn't remember anything after his head hits the pillow.

The next morning, the last day before the party night, he wakes up to texts of, “I like it! Only able to skim, but something's weird… once you get to the sex it all flows nicely though. The most important part ;))))” 

Jongdae resists the urge to fling his phone aside and tucks away the criticism until he can fully address it. 

At the end of the workday, Jongdae procrastinates on writing - going grocery shopping, then furniture window shopping, and then cooking dinner. Until finally he runs out of excuses and opens the Google doc, after Minseok texts, “Done lmk if you have any questions.”

It's not as marked up as it had been that first time. Jongdae appreciates that he's getting better and better, and that Minseok hasn't gotten sick of reading real people fic. He's the angel of Jongdae's life. 

Going through the document, Jongdae finishes the easy corrections. Remove a confusing sentence here, adjust some word choice there… now he's left with “I would make this shorter” and “??? Ending???” Two comments left is the best he's done in a while.

 _Shorter?_ All of a sudden, inspiration. It's a porno, a PWP. There's no need for all this in depth backstory. Jongdae highlights multiple paragraphs and hits delete. _Also, there's no need for the poly to be a surprise_ , he figures and adds in an extra steamy scene, first with Jungkook and Taehyung, then Jungkook with Jimin. _Better to start out strong_ , Jongdae thinks and realizes it's almost eight pages single spaced. 3k is the usual length of his oneshots, hopefully they'll like it.

Jongdae shrugs. Like it or not, here’s another BTS fanfic for his twenty subscribers. Most of them probably wouldn't like it, seeing as he's made both Jimin and Taehyung female… whatever. Jongdae laughs at the heteronormativity of what he's written. All it needs is a title and an ending when he feels like it.

Recklessness overtaking him, he titles the doc, “three's the charm” and closes his laptop for the last time.

_____________________

It's Jongdae's turn to be designated driver. He pulls up in his tiny Prius and honks in front of the ice cream shop. The shop owner's “Git!” follows Baekhyun as he runs out the door.

“Begging for free ice cream again, Baek?” Jongdae asks with an eyebrow raised. 

“No but you should hit the gas pedal in case my landlord actually decides to chuck that spoon at me after all,” Baekhyun quips, buckling his seatbelt. “Quickly, now!”

“Yeah, yeah,” Jongdae says, and rolls out. “I'm sure he wouldn't actually be annoyed by you if you stopped flirting with every one of his employees for fifteen samples a day.” 

“What's the fun in stopping?” Baekhyun replies flippantly, checking out his reflection in the mirror. 

Jongdae only chuckles in reply, focusing back on the road and not at Baekhyun cutely making kissy faces. The rowhouse Kyungsoo and Amber owns is only a five minute drive away, and Jongdae's memorized the route by now. Doesn't hurt to look out for tractors ahead, though.

As Jongdae pulls up to a light, Baekhyun suddenly asks, “Did you write about me?” Jongdae can see him batting his eyelashes out of the corner of his eye, but Baekhyun's tone is almost… earnest.

“N-no.” Only a little white lie. Taehyung is a different person. “Why, uh, would you ask that?” Jongdae cringes at how awkward he’s being.

He’s saved by pulling into Amber and Kyungsoo’s driveway. “Ah nothing, I bet Kyungsoo wrote about me!” Baekhyun shouts as he rolls down the window. 

Opening the door, Kyungsoo snorts. “As if. We were supposed to write a porno, not a murder mystery.”

Laughing, Amber throws something in the trunk and they both clamber in. “You didn't even write anything, Soo,” she says, “even though I told you they'd be disappointed.”

“Whaaaaat!” Jongdae whines, “Forget disappointment, I feel _betrayed_!”

Baekhyun turns around in his seat. “You know how you hate me bothering you?” he asks Kyungsoo sweetly.

Jongdae had made sure Baekhyun got the front seat because Kyungsoo is always one step away from strangling Baekhyun. Out of fondness more than actual annoyance. “Like, all the time?” Kyungsoo says.

“I might not bother you if, let’s say, you needed space to write.” 

Kyungsoo lets out a thoughtful hum. “Tempting. But I don’t have a laptop to write—”

“Ah!” Amber exclaims, and Jongdae sees her reach into the trunk for her backpack. “I thought you might come around babe, here’s my laptop.”

“If I do this, you better keep to your word Baek,” Kyungsoo says, already opening up the laptop. 

“Look! You're not gonna be alone anymore,” Baekhyun beams across at Jongdae, rubbing his thigh before turning back to the window and humming.

Jongdae glances at Baekhyun, who looks so pleased with himself. His thigh feels scorching hot where Baekhyun had touched him. He maybe has a problem.

_____________________

After some annoying traffic, they finally pull into the parking lot, where Chanyeol is shivering outside. “H-h-h-hi!” Chanyeol stutters out.

“Idiot, we were gonna call you when we got here. You didn't have to wait outside,” Baekhyun chides him before wrapping him in a hug. 

Chanyeol gratefully returns the hug before saying, “You know how stubborn Yixing hyung gets. It was the only way I could get him to go back inside in that stupid tank top.” He greets Amber and Kyungsoo each with an enthusiastic hug. Amber loudly whops him on the back while Kyungsoo tolerates it for a few seconds before shoving Chanyeol away. Jongdae averts his eyes when Kyungsoo presses a quick kiss to Amber's lips, focusing instead on the approaching Chanyeol.

“Please, like you're not wearing a matching tank under that winter jacket,” Jongdae snorts, spinning Chanyeol around after their hug. “Take us inside.”

“Okay!” Chanyeol says, and bounds up the stairs to let them all in. “Sehun and Tao already got here,” he says as they walk through the hallway.

When the heating hits, they all shed their jackets and leave them in a pile by the door. Jongdae rolls his eyes when Chanyeol reveals he is actually wearing that matching tank top underneath. “No wonder you were so cold,” Kyungsoo says, pinching Chanyeol's bare arm. 

Exaggerating as usual, Chanyeol dramatically collapses to the ground in mock pain. “Yeobo, I'm being bullied,” he cries as Yixing emerges, looking worried.

“What's,” he starts but brightens at the sight of his guests. “Ah, Kyungsoo's here! That's why.” Yixing kisses Kyungsoo's cheek, and then flits to everyone else. “Everyone, everyone I'm so happy you made it!”

Jongdae hugs Yixing's stick thin body and beams. “Wouldn't miss it for the world, Xing hyung.”

He hadn't even noticed Chanyeol recover, let alone leave the room, but he's back and bearing many shot glasses. “Shots!!” he shouts happily, and Jongdae sees where the night is going.

_____________________

Luckily dinner is filling so Jongdae isn't too far gone. He reminds himself that he’s the designated driver and does have to sober up, but… he really doesn’t want to be too sober for the porn contest.

A face appears in his line of vision and Jongdae startles. "You ready?" Baekhyun asks, smiling. Jongdae is blinded by the smile and blinks dumbly, chest aching. Baekhyun is so close but so far, so unachievable.

They lock eyes for a while, before Jongdae realizes he's being creepy. "Ready for what?" he asks belatedly.

"To read your story out loud!" Tao yells, draping himself on Baekhyun. They tussle but Jongdae's heart is dropping.

"Read? Out loud?" he says, voice cracking. Maybe he'd had one too many drinks after all, maybe he’d heard wrong.

Sehun piles on top of Baekhyun too, who ends up collapsing on Jongdae. “Yeah, out loud! Is there a problem with that?” Sehun mumbles.

Jongdae buries his face in his hands. This is almost too much. "I wrote like eight pages, it's gonna take forever to read," he moans. It's official. He's crushingly sober now at the sheer dread of having it read out loud.

"Is Kyungsoo okay with it?" Baekhyun asks, and Jongdae could kiss him. Sehun and Tao wouldn't dare pressure Kyungsoo into anything.

"Okay with what?" Kyungsoo asks, straightening in Amber's lap. Evidently Kyungsoo's feeling the liquor now, because sober Kyungsoo would never indulge in PDA.

"Reading your story out loud! So we can rank it!" Tao says excitedly.

Jongdae looks over and laughs with relief at the sour expression on Kyungsoo's face. "That looks like a no."

Baekhyun is freed of Tao and Sehun when they flock over to the couch to try to persuade Kyungsoo otherwise. He glances at Jongdae before deciding, of all things, to climb into Jongdae's lap.

Only Baekhyun would platonically sit in someone's lap.

"Hey, is this okay?" Jongdae examines Baekhyun’s expression, lip bitten and eyebrows furrowed. 

He sighs and bops Baekhyun’s nose, making Baekhyun scrunch his face at him. “I don’t know, I just… it’s a lot. Writing it for you guys is one thing, but reading it out loud myself is too much.” Jongdae gives into temptation and winds his arms around Baekhyun’s waist, burying his face in his chest. He blames the alcohol.

Baekhyun hums, and strokes Jongdae’s hair. “Aww, is Dae okay?” Yixing asks, rubbing his shoulder from behind. “You know, maybe someone else can read them. I’m still curious to hear what you and Kyungsoo have written.”

“That’s… actually not a bad idea.” Jongdae’s shoulders are still hunched, but having someone else read it out loud is monumentally less embarrassing than reading it out loud myself.

He feels Baekhyun nod. “Yeah, how about Yeol? He’s got a great story-telling voice.”

Jongdae pulls away from Baekhyun to see Chanyeol almost trip over a yet-unpacked box of furniture. Yixing giggles, kissing a sheepish Chanyeol on the forehead. “I nominate Chanyeol as the reader. We’ll be good hosts.”

Kyungsoo heaves a long-suffering sigh, but hands Amber’s laptop over to Yixing. “Fine.” Amber beams at her boyfriend, and Kyungsoo looks away with his cheeks red.

Everyone rearranges so that they’re in a circle, buzzing with anticipation as Jongdae pulls up his story on Amber’s laptop. Baekhyun perches on top of Yixing’s lap, not that Jongdae’s watching.

The porno writing contest starts in full swing as Chanyeol begins with Kyungsoo’s story. Jongdae tries not to laugh too hard because he’s going to be judged next, but it’s hard with the incredibly long lead up to the actual “action.” Kyungsoo, with his eye for excrutiating detail, has thoroughly outlined how the main character has to ask for leave, book the flight, arrive at their destination, and unpack… before the bellhop arrives and offers his _services_.

Sehun and Tao have tears in their eyes. “Is thirty days of leave six weeks, or just a month?” Tao laughs, and Jongdae laughs not because it’s funny but because Tao is laughing so hard snot is coming out his nose.

Kyungsoo ignores them in lieu of Amber whispering in his ear. Jongdae’s probably glad he’s not sitting next to them, because Kyungsoo’s eyes are glazing over.

There’s a smattering of applause, drowned out by loud complaining from Sehun and Baekhyun that the story was way too short. “They had sex for like two minutes!” Baekhyun whines.

“You try writing a full story in an hour,” Kyungsoo retorts. Amber watches on, amused as Kyungsoo tries to strangle Baekhyun and Sehun both as they continue to whine. 

“Alrightttt,” Chanyeol tries to say, wanting to break up the fight. “We’re ready to move on, right? Everyone back in their seats.” When everyone’s settled again, Chanyeol continues, “Thank you for your story and for not strangling our friends, Dominance Fletcher.” Tao breaks out into renewed howls at the nom de plume. “Now it is time for Saxy Phone’s story.”

Jongdae whips out his laptop. This would actually be a great opportunity to edit his story real-time, if the embarrassment is going to happen might as well take advantage.

“What’s the title!” Baekhyun asks, bouncing in Yixing’s lap. Jongdae almost laughs, Yixing is too nice to kick Baekhyun off but he’s looking a little uncomfortable.

Chanyeol clears his throat and says, “Three’s… the charm.” Then he waggles his eyebrows. “Oooooh, Jongdae!”

“Ooooh, threeeee,” Amber sings out, and Jongdae feels himself blush a furious red.

“Shut it guys, the story hasn’t even begun yet,” Jongdae whines.

“I didn’t know you had it in you Jongdae, you nice Catholic boy, you,” Baekhyun teases, shifting off Yixing’s lap and onto the couch proper.

Jongdae flaps a hand at him, and looks at Chanyeol with pleading eyes. Still chuckling, Chanyeol sways a little in his seat before getting the laptop upright. Yixing gently places a small table in front of Chanyeol. He starts reading. They’ve reached the scene where Jungkook wakes up to a female Taehyung teasing him awake. Then Taehyung skips off to make breakfast.

“Waffles?” Sehun interrupts. “I thought this was a porno.”

“Shh,” Tao chides him. “I wanna hear the story.”

It’s amusing though slightly distressing to hear Chanyeol stumble through the story, tipsiness clearly showing through with mispronunciation of simple words. “She stoked him—”

“STROKE, Chanyeol, STROKE,” Jongdae interrupts frantically, while Amber muffles her laughter into Kyungsoo’s back. He’s biting his nails now, but word butchering is at least something he feels okay speaking up about.

“Stroked him…” Chanyeol continues on. “And Jungkook pulled on some long boxers—”

Tao’s laugh interrupts him this time. “What are LONG boxers?”

Sehun Googles and quickly pulls up a picture of long johns on his phone. “Are these long boxers!” 

“No, maybe because it’s his dick is long! So he needs long boxers to cover them,” Amber chimes in, wiping away tears from her eyes from laughing so hard.

Jongdae covers his face and moans. He doesn’t want to admit Amber’s right, and quickly deletes the word “long” from the fanfic version of the doc. Too much controversy.

Yixing is startlingly innocent, with questions like: “Chanyeol-ah, what are wet folds?”

Jongdae stares at him, and Chanyeol’s mouth gapes like a fish out of water. It’s Tao who actually comes to the rescue. “Honey, it’s the vagina.”

“Oh,” Yixing says and nods sagely. “I wouldn’t know much about that.”

Amber sloppily kisses Kyungsoo on the cheek, who tries to shove her away. “I happen to be an expert and would agree that wet folds are a term.

Tao giggles as Sehun shouts, “Ew, heterosexuality!”

Chanyeol tries to continue, “She lowers her wet folds in him…” and then pauses. “Wait.”

“What.” Jongdae looks at him, confused.

“Isn’t he already in her?” Chanyeol blinks, frowning with his eyebrows tightly knit. As if it’s a complicated physics question and not heterosexual sex. 

Amber topples off of Kyungsoo’s lap, hitting the floor and almost in tears. When she recovers, she says, “Think… think… of it like… it’s like a hot dog, around a bun.” 

“OHH,” Chanyeol yells, and Jongdae wants to kill himself. It’s such an unsexy explanation.

“Okay, let’s move on,” Jongdae mutters, ears red. 

It takes almost an hour to read the entire story, because Jongdae had written it for a silently reading audience. He actually enjoys it though, despite himself. Explaining demisexuality to his friends, trying to convince them that threesomes are not just a casual sex thing and can be a relationship… maybe they’re drunk and won’t remember it, but it’s fine.

He blushes fiercely when there’s a thorough description of Taehyung, and avoids Baekhyun’s quizzical glance. Jongdae’s glad it’s over when Chanyeol reads out, “The End!” It’s followed by zealous and still somewhat tipsy applause from the audience. “Reactions from the judges?” Chanyeol asks with a flourish. All tears of laughter have been wiped away, and there’s just encouraging smiles. 

Tao begins, “I don’t… the two stories are so different. I don’t think I can judge.” The others nod in agreement.

Both Jongdae and Kyungsoo pout, but Jongdae is secretly relieved. They have to pack up to leave soon. 

“Thanks for having us over,” Jongdae says to Chanyeol and Yixing, hugging each of them. “Even if I did want to die of embarrassment.”

“Thanks for sharing,” Yixing says, seriously. Chanyeol nods behind him. “It was brave of you.”

Jongdae shoves at them, disliking the serious attitude. “Yah, take care of yourselves in the city. See you sometime.”

He walks out, and is surprised to see only Baekhyun waiting for him. “Where are the others?” he asks, confused.

“Tao and Sehun took Amber and Kyungsoo, so, um, it’s just you and me.” Something is off about Baekhyun’s tone, muted, but maybe it’s just with sleepiness. Baekhyun had been almost nodding off on the couch just a few moments ago.

“Okay,” Jongdae says, and they get in the car.

It’s a quiet drive, and Jongdae thinks Baekhyun has probably fallen asleep. He chances a look over, but quickly averts his eyes when he sees Baekhyun, very much awake, looking back at him. “God, you scared me,” Jongdae tries to joke.

“Kim Jongdae, do you like me back?”

Jongdae grips the steering wheel, hard, feeling sweat on his palms. Then he registers the last word. “B-back?”

“Oh fuck, forget what I said if I misunderstood,” Baekhyun shrinks on himself. “I just thought, you know, your… your fic sounded like me, but maybe that’s narcissis—”

Jongdae starts to laugh. Everything feels unreal. “I do, I really do, Baekhyun, fuck, I’m… I’m gonna pull over.” There’s too many emotions to keep driving, and he pulls over on the side of the highway. “My smart Baekhyunnie,” he sighs. 

“What a way to confess, though,” Baekhyun laughs, and reaches over Jongdae’s lap to bring the driver’s seat back. He climbs over the center console, settling himself in Jongdae’s arms. “Writing porn about me.”

“How could I not,” Jongdae breathes, running his hands over Baekhyun’s body, feeling free to touch at last. “You’re a gorgeous man.”

“Have you seen yourself, Dae?” Baekhyun demands, and leans in close. Jongdae is about to close his eyes when Baekhyun whispers, “Is this okay?”

“Yes, fuck yes.” Jongdae leans up and crashes their lips together. Hungry, feeling almost sated at last. “Give me something real to write about.”

“Write about hot car sex with your boyfriend. And read it out loud to me.”

Jongdae groans, and lets the seat get pushed down, watching and moaning as Baekhyun rolls his hips on top of him.

Sometimes reality is better than (fan) fiction.

**Author's Note:**

> this is for my men with the 19+ thoughts. 
> 
> also, my beta had the funniest comment on my doc:  
> how meta is this fic going to get. are you going to show this fic to your friends who will show it to their friends and then I turn around behind me and see a large computer screen?
> 
> You can yell at me on [Tumblr](http://lady-serendipity.tumblr.com) and [Twitter](https://twitter.com/ladyyserendipit) <3!


End file.
